


Forgiveness

by jason_todds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I don't even know anymore, Kittens, M/M, crack/angst/fluff, this might evolve?, who knows - Freeform, yeah so theres making out and other stuff now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 09:19:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1220920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jason_todds/pseuds/jason_todds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam isn't in the cage, he thinks he deserves to be. Dean and Cas are utterly wrapped up in each other and someone who should be dead, isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness

They’d stopped the apocalypse. Which really wasn’t something that happened everyday, unless of course, you happened to be Sam Winchester and his merry band of misfits. 

Said misfits, were at that time, staring longingly into each others eyes. Sam almost rolled his, but every time he looked at them he couldn’t help but feel a deep want, buried somewhere deep in his chest. A jagged shard that twisted itself deeper every time Dean glanced at Cas in the rearview mirror or Cas completely disregarded personal space in the way he only did with Dean. 

Sam wanted something like that, something like the ease in which they moved around each other. The gravity in the way they inevitably found their way back to each other. 

But nobody wanted something like him. Something broken and smeared with stains darker than the demon blood he had so obsessively consumed. 

He looked away. Focused on the twist of the gnarled wooden table he sat at. Tried not to let envy eat at him quite so much. It was a battle he was losing. A battle he had always lost.

Eventually, he couldn't take it any more, he stood, his chair scraping horribly against the floor. Neither Dean nor Cas looked up. They were too focused on each other, voices quiet in the still air. Fingers brushing where their hands lay side by side. 

He turned on his heel and moved out the door. it creaked shut behind him, and he didn’t see the worry in Dean and Cas’ eyes as they looked to where his silhouette stood. He wouldn’t have seen it even if they had been looking him in the eye. 

He lent against the rickety wood that held up the veranda. His breath misted in the air, fanning out and dissipating into the crisp dusk. 

He gazed out into the old scrapyard and watched mist swirl through rusted husks that masqueraded as cars. 

He felt something sharp digging into the palms of his hands and when he looked down he could see his fingers clenched around the railing, knuckles white and tendons tight. He slowly relaxed his grip and looked at his palms. Splinters sunk deep into his skin and droplets of blood welled up around them.

He frowned. And pushed them deeper. His head tilted slightly as he watched the wood move deeper through his flesh. 

Blood pooled in his palm and obscured the dark splinters. 

Sam sighed. He shook the red off his palm and wiped the rest on the denim of his pants. When he pulled his hand away a dark smear remained. 

Sam knew he was covered in dark stains, although most of them were not visible to the naked eye. His soul was twisted and he was broken and he should be in the cage.

He should be paying for what he’d done, for the people he’d hurt and for the lives he’d ruined.

He shouldn't be walking free and unharmed, he should be suffering. He deserved it. 

“You don’t, you know.” Came a tired voice from behind him. He whirled around and came face to chest with a man with amber eyes and a weary smirk. “You saved the world, kiddo, if anyone deserves a rest, a little bit of happiness, its you.” 

Sam was speechless, he couldn't be here, he was dead, Sam had seen it, seen the shadow of wings spread across a grimy floor, ash smearing over skin. 

“You can’t be here” was all he could say. There were so many things he had wished he could, conversations he’d had with the dead man inside his head. 

I’m sorry

I never meant for you to die for us

So many words, rendered suddenly meaningless by the archangel turned trickster who stood cautiously in front of him. 

Gabriel’s head tilted, he moved closer to Sam and his voice when he spoke was as close to gentle as it would ever get.

“I forgive you” 

———————————————————————————————————————————

Sam really didn't know what to say. 

Really though, what was he supposed to do? 

He didn't know, so he just stared down into he dregs of his coffee and scuffed his feet awkwardly against the floor. 

“Sam.” 

He glanced up and away just as quickly

“Sam, look at me.”

He reluctantly met the Archangel’s eyes. He looked so worn. And it was Sam’s fault. 

Gabriel sat abruptly back in his chair and huffed loudly. “You’re really into that whole self-blame thing, aren’t ya, Sammy?” 

When he saw Sam’s blank expression he rolled his eyes “It wasn’t your fault. I chose to sacrifice myself, Sam. You didn't force me into anything.”

“I got you involved.” Sam said quietly. 

When Gabriel spoke again his voice was lower than usual, more serious. “No Sam, you didn’t. I got myself involved.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I would have gotten pulled in eventually anyway, the whole apocalypse thing and all. And besides,” Gabriel looked at Sam with what looked to be a genuine smile, not a smirk, not a shit-eating grin, an actual smile, dancing over his lips. 

“It was an honour to die for you, Samuel Winchester.” 

It was of course, at that moment that Dean decided to come barging in.

.  
.  
.

He stopped dead. Eyes razor sharp on back of Gabriel’s head. 

His hand twitched towards the gun tucked in the back of his jeans. But before he could so much as wrap his fingers around the grip, Gabriel rolled his eyes and with a very put-upon sigh, snapped his fingers. 

The room was filled with Dean’s screeches as he tried to pull a yowling kitten out of his pants. 

Sam’s mouth was hanging open as he took in the sight of his brother leaping around the room with a cat clinging to the seat of his trousers. 

He couldn't help the laughter bubbling up inside of him, nor could he help it spilling out of his throat and filling the room. 

Each of Deans shrieks was punctuated with a fresh bout of laughter from Sam, he was soon bent double, clutching his stomach with tears prickling the corners of his crinkled eyes. 

He was so consumed by his own laughter that he didn't hear the flapping of wings that marked Cas’ appearance. However, when he looked up and saw the expression on Cas’ face, which was really only slightly more bewildered than usual, his shoulders shook with laughter. 

“Dean, you appear to have a feline attached to your—“ 

The rest of Cas’ sentence was drowned out by Deans loud shouts, which seemed to mostly consist of “GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF OF ME”

and 

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT GABRIEL YOU SON OF A BITCH”

The rest was mostly incoherent shrieks. Punctuated frequently by swear words in numerous languages. 

.  
.  
.

A few hours later, when Cas had coaxed the kitten from Dean’s pants, they sat in the living room. 

Dean had demanded that Gabriel return his gun to normal, but Gabriel had said that would be immoral, as the gun was now a kitten. Dean normally wouldn’t have cared what Gabriel considered to be immoral, but one look at the happiness on Cas’ face as the kitten purred loudly in his lap had melted him completely. 

And so the gun stayed a kitten.

The silence was awkward as they sat together, Sam was watching Gabriel out of the corner of his eye, as if to make sure he didn’t disappear, as Dean stared at him openly and mistrustfully. He had been slightly reassured when Cas had confirmed his identity, but his body language was still wary. That may have been related to the way Gabriel had been smiling at Sam after he had stopped laughing. Warm and open and utterly, utterly telling. 

Finally Sam broke the silence, he cleared his throat loudly and looked fully towards Gabriel. 

“So, I think you had better tell us how exactly you survived”

Gabriel inclined his head, and with a smirk he told them: “Better get comfortable, kiddies, it’s story time.”

———————————————————————————————————————————

Gabriel moved as he spoke, quick fleeting movements with his fingers and grand sweeping gestures that made use of his entire body. He was constantly in motion, a snap of his fingers, the razor slide of a smirk. 

He was never still. 

His voice rose and fell as he spoke, weaving a tale of resurrection and forgiveness, of second chances and what to do with them. 

When he finished his words hung in the air, giving a curious weight to the silence between them. 

Gabriel leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. 

“That’s my story. What you do with it is entirely up to you” 

Dean’s mouth twisted slightly, and when he spoke there was a hint of a frown in his voice.

“You’re telling us” he said slowly “That God resurrected you” he paused and raised his eyebrows, “You. So you could hang out with us”

Castiel looked up from where his fingers where buried in the kittens fur. His eyebrows drew together. “Dean.” he said. A warning. 

“My Father resurrected me because, for whatever reason, He thought I deserved it.” Gabriel looked away and Sam saw centuries old pain flash across his face “He’s not in the habit of telling me why he does things. He’s not really in the habit of talking to me”

Dean shifted uncomfortably. “The daddy-doesnt-love-me support group is next week.” he muttered. 

Gabriel looked him, and his words held a knife’s edge. “You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Winchester?” 

Dean jerked slightly and glared. He opened his mouth, but before he could speak Sam interrupted him.

“Enough sniping at each other, Gabriel, from what i’ve gathered, it sounds like you want to join us?” 

“I knew you were the smart one. Yeah, I do, I got nothing else to do”

Sam smiled a bitter smile, “Promise you won’t kill any of us this time?” 

Gabriel grinned, his amber eyes lighting up. “Aw Sammy, where’s the fun in that?” 

.  
.  
.

Sam resisted the urge to repeatedly slam his head against the dashboard. Why he ever thought this would be workable, he didn't know. 

Dean was bitching at Gabriel, Gabriel was bitching back at Dean and Cas was still playing with that damn kitten

A kitten which appeared to have inherited it’s makers motor mouth. The damn thing was purring like a steam engine. 

He rubbed his temples hard and tried to tune out the incessant sound. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he looked around, Gabriel was leaning towards him. “You alright Sammich?” 

Sam shot him the obligatory bitchface for the nickname and nodded. “Fine, just a bit of a headache.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, he touched Sam’s temple lightly and the headache disappeared. “Hello, archangel?” He gestured to himself with a sweep of his arm. 

Sam chuckled, “Thanks Gabe” 

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Gabe?” he asked incredulously.

Sam simply looked at him and said “Sammich? Sammy? Kiddo?”

Gabriel opened his mouth as if to speak but seemed to think the better of it, “Touché, Samoose” 

Sam just rolled his eyes and hid a smile. Maybe this whole teaming up business wouldn’t be quite so awful. 

———————————————————————————————————————————

The woman in front of him tilted her head in an oddly reptilian way. She smiled and Sam couldn't help but think how many teeth she had. He fought the urge to quote little red riding hood. 

He gingerly tested the rope around his wrists and tried not to think too hard about the knife strapped to his ankle. 

The women’s eyes slid into blackness. 

“You’ve been quite evasive, but finally we’ve got you, finally you are ours,” she hissed.

Sam tried not to roll his eyes. 

“You’re going to look so pretty all tied down and covered in blood, my master’s going to be so pleased with me.” 

Sam quirked an eyebrow. “Kinky.” 

The woman’s lips twisted into a sneer and she flicked her fingers, Sam felt an invisible hand wrap around his throat and he began to struggle in earnest, but the hand kept tightening and darkness kept encroaching upon his vision, he heard ragged laughter from the demon, then his eyes rolled back into his head and he didn’t know anything anymore. 

———————————————————————————————————————————

“Shit, shit, goddamnit Sammy, wake up!” 

Sam groaned. And swatted at the hands shaking him. 

Then he remembered the demon. And the choking. 

He sat up and accidentally head-butted Dean. 

Dean jerked backwards and pressed his hands to his forehead. 

“Really, Sam? head-butting?” 

Sam just pressed the heel of his hand to his own forehead and bitched faced in Dean’s general direction. 

Another, smaller hand pressed to his temple and he felt a delicious coolness spread from where the fingers brushed his skin. The pain was gone within seconds and Sam opened his eyes and met Gabriel’s.

“Thanks,” he muttered, standing up. 

Gabriel just smirked at him and wrapped his fingers around Sam’s elbow. He had the very particular feeling of being folded into something very small and shoved down a drainpipe.

And then he was back at Bobby’s. He looked around for Dean but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen, he turned to Gabriel and opened his mouth to ask about his brothers whereabouts, but before he could Gabriel spoke. 

“Dean hates travelling via angel airway, He and Cas are driving back. I figured you’d like to just get home and collapse.” 

Sam nodded and offered him a small smile. “Thank you, again.” 

Gabriel inclined his head and smiled back at Sam, the sunlight caught his eyes just right and they appeared to glow, Sam imagined sunspots dancing across his skin from where Gabriel’s gaze met his. 

“My pleasure,” he replied softly.

Sam ducked his head and shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Well” he cleared his throat “I, uh, I should probably…” he trailed off lamely and gestured towards the house. 

Gabriel was looking at him with a curiously soft expression. Sam shoved his hands in his pocket and started towards the porch. “Sam?” 

He stopped. Turned his head so Gabriel could see his profile. “Yeah?” 

Gabriel moved towards him, footsteps soft and barely brushing the ground. He reached up and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, when he pulled his hand back it brushed along Sam’s cheekbone and sent an odd feeling shivering down his spine. 

“Stop hurting yourself, you overgrown moose-man.” 

Gabriel stepped back, and Sam was pretty sure his feet weren’t touching the ground. 

“Are you… Are you levitating yourself?” he asked in disbelief

Gabriel shrugged and watched Sam with an odd expression on his face, it seemed almost… disappointed.

“Like I said, overgrown moose-man.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, relieved that their banter was falling back into familiar territory. 

“Just because you are pocket-sized does not mean that I’m overgrown.” 

“Aha!” Gabriel exclaimed gleefully “You don’t deny being a moose!” 

Sam fought the urge to smile at him fondly. “You are a child.” 

Gabriel leered. “I don’t think a child would be quite as impressively-“ Sam slapped a hand over Gabriel’s mouth “You are not finishing that sentence.” 

Gabriel licked his hand. 

In hindsight, Sam knew he probably should have expected that. 

“Child,” he hissed, wiping his hand on his jeans. 

Gabriel just laughed at him. 

Sam tried not to think about how much he liked Gabriel’s laugh. 

———————————————————————————————————————————

Sam thought about Gabriel far too much. 

It really wasn’t healthy, like just now, Gabriel was sitting by the fire with a glass of whatever the hell it was he was drinking (It was bright green and fizzing, with the occasional bubble floating upwards and circling around Gabriel’s head like some sort of demented halo) on a mysterious side table that Sam was pretty sure he hadn't ever seen before. 

Firelight painted his hair golden and made his eyes spark amber. Sam thought he would have looked very dignified, if it weren’t for the aforementioned green bubble halo and the kitten that was splayed across his stomach. 

Gabriel smiled at the tiny creature, and stroked her downy fur with his forefinger. Sam let out a soft sigh and just let himself stare. His gaze traced the contours of Gabriel’s body, from the curl in his hair to his oddly delicate ankles, just visible at the rucked up hem of his jeans. 

“See something you like, Sammy?” Gabriel asked mockingly.

Sam swallowed, feeling oddly brave as he replied: “Yeah, actually, I do.” Gabriel’s eyes sharpened and he sat up a little straighter. “Do something about it, then.” He said with a purr.

Sam pushed himself out of his chair and stepped over to Gabriel in one stride. He towered over him, so he knelt in front of the chair and braced himself on the sides. Bracketing Gabriel with his arms. 

The laughter had disappeared from Gabriel’s face, replaced by want. “Sam,” he murmured “Do something.”

So Sam leant forward and looked the archangel in the eyes. He braced himself with one elbow and with one hand he swept away the ridiculous green bubbles, and then tugged his fingers through Gabriel’s hair. 

He took a deep breath and lightly pressed his lips against Gabriel’s. 

It was light and chaste, until Gabriel raised one slightly shaking hand and snapped his fingers. 

The kitten, the living room and the armchair disappeared. Sam found himself tumbling forward onto an unfamiliar bed. 

“I’m not one for moving slowly, Sam.” was all the warning he got before he was flipped onto his back and pulled into an utterly filthy kiss. Wet, messy and so incredibly good. Sam moaned and wrapped his arms around the angel, pulling him as close as possible. 

“Fuck, Sam, what the hell took you so long?” Gabriel growled into his mouth. “We could have done this ages ago.” 

Sam laughed weakly and fumbled with Gabriel’s jacket, slipping it off at tossing it to the side. “I kinda,” he panted “Liked the build up.” 

“Fucking Winchesters. Masochists, the lot of you,” 

Sam tried to say something snarky in reply to that, but was distracted by the open mouthed kisses Gabriel was planting on his throat, “Gotta warn you Sammy, this ain’t gonna be a one time thing, you have the body of a god and I refuse to let it go to waste.” 

“You talk too much,” Sam groaned, before flipping them over and puling off his shirt, he began to unbutton Gabriel’s clothes, before the angel smirked at him and snapped his fingers. 

“Hello? Archangel.” 

Sam just rolled his eyes before kissing the words right out of his mouth. 

“‘Actions speak louder than words, Gabe,” 

Gabriel grinned slowly and preceded to show him just how loudly actions could speak. 

Sam really hoped the room was soundproofed. 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————

Sam woke up the next morning feeling more content that he had in a long time. He could feel a heavy weight on his chest and when he finally opened his eyes it was to the sight of a messy haired archangel sprawled over him. 

Sam heaved a deep, satisfied sigh and draped an arm over Gabriel’s waist. The movement must have jostled him because he groaned and shoved his head into the side of Sam’s neck. 

“Good morning.” Sam said softly, smiling. He stroked a hand through Gabriel’s hair. 

On one hand, he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Any moment now Gabriel would spring up and away from him. Knowing this, Sam decided to enjoy the moment. It wasn't every day he got to cuddle an archangel. 

“M’ not goin’ anywhere, Sam-a-lam.” Gabriel muttered. He groggily lifted his head and poked Sam’s forehead. “So get ridda those dumb, self deprecating thoughts before I decide I need to distract you.”

Sam tried to hide the wave of relief he felt behind a quirked eyebrow, “Reading my thoughts again, are you?”

Gabriel’s mouth tilted. “It’s less me reading them, and more you shouting and me overhearing. You have a very loud mind.”

Sam blinked a few times, not sure what to say in response to that revelation.

“Now,” said Gabriel, “I believe I was saying something about distraction?”

Sam grinned and gave Gabriel’s hair a tug, “That you were.” 

Gabriel smirked and began to slide down Sam’s body, Sam bit back a moan at the slide of skin. 

He clenched a fist in the bedsheets, the other still carding through Gabriel’s hair. Just as Gabriel started to press kisses to the insides of his thighs, there was a loud banging at the door. 

They both froze. 

“Sam?" called Dean through the thin, unlocked, door. 

“Don’t come in!” Sam called back, his voice an octave higher than usual as Gabriel laughed, and continued to nip and kiss his thighs, working his way upwards. 

“Don’t be such a girl—“ Dean began, the door handle twisting before another familiar voice joined him. 

“Dean” said Cas gravely, the door ajar. “Gabriel is not in his room.” 

There was silence for a few moments, “Sam.” called Dean, his voice remarkably calm. 

Sam bit back another moan. “Y-yeah, Dean?” 

“Is Gabriel in there with you?” 

Sam could feel Gabriel smirk, it was an unusual feeling. 

“Sup Dean-o?” Gabriel answered him. Sam could hear Dean curse and the door began to open further. 

Sam was about to panic, when Cas saved the day and, likely, Sam and Dean’s ability to make eye-contact.

“Dean.” He repeated. “I really do not suggest you go in there.”

Sam could have imagined the scene, Dean and Cas, standing uncomfortably close to each other and staring into each others eyes. No different from any other day, really. 

Of course, he was a little bit preoccupied at that moment. 

“We will be having WORDS, Gabriel!” Dean snarled.

“Maybe later Dean-o, I’m a bit busy right now."

Cas had to practically drag Dean away. They could hear him thumping down the stairs, muttering obscenities. 

Sam slumped back against the pillows, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Gabriel pushed himself up and propped his chin in his hand, smiling softly at Sam. 

“Moods kinda gone, hey kiddo?” 

Sam scowled, “Don’t call me kiddo in bed, that's so creepy.”

Gabriel laughed, “Yeah fair enough,” he flopped down on Sam. “You aren’t excused from everyday use though.”

Sam laughed, his dimples in full view. Gabriel’s soft smile only grew as he looked down at him, his Sam. 

They’d both get a chewing out by Dean later, but for the moment they really didn't care. They were warm and comfortable and the world was in no immediate danger. 

They were content.

Of course, Sam was not completely better. He still had a lot of issue to deal with. A lot of guilt, misplaced and otherwise, to sort through. 

And despite having Gabriel, who certainly helped, it would take him a while to do so. 

But for now, for this moment, his shoulders didn't feel quite so weighed down.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
